White Women, Black Men Dating: Romantic USA Escapades

You have created the perfect online dating profile, you stated that you want to date white women, that you are adventurous, bon viveur and love traveling. You met this amazing lady and have been on a few dates with her and now you are officially in a relationship. Her birthday is approaching and you are thinking of a nice surprise. What about a long weekend trip to a romantic destination that will prove to her that you truly love adventure?

Savannah, Georgia

Hidden gardens, old oaks, tons of parks full of amazing flowers and trees, Savannah is the lovers' paradise. The city has many great restaurants and cafes and the people are famous for their hospitality. If you are looking for a quiet, romantic weekend, look no further. Savannah also has a College of Art and Design, so the crowd here is interesting as well.

 

White Women Black Men Dating

Maui, Hawaii

It might be a cliché, but for good reason. The golden sand, the turquoise waters, the volcanoes, the palm trees synthesize a natural environment of amazing beauty. Maui is pretty touristic, so going off season would be a good idea. Then you will be able to enjoy sunbathing, amazing seafood and total relaxation without little kids running around you.

Napa Valley, California

Imagine enjoying a top quality, locally produced wine, while admiring the view from your hot air balloon. That's right. Napa offers both. Famous for its vineyards for many years, this area of the US also has amazing natural scenery. You can find many resorts in the area, almost hidden in-between the vines, that will offer you any gourmet food and wine you request.

Montreal Bay, California

Let's stay in California a little while longer, this time by the sea. If you want to buy a house here, you would need to start saving from your previous life time. But this is why this area is worth visiting as a tourist. The coastline is of indescribable beauty, the seafood restaurants offer dishes that you will be dreaming for days and Del Monte forest adds to the magic. A truly unique area. You can stay in one of the many luxury resorts or take a short break here, while on a road trip.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

If your girl loves art, that is definitely the place to visit. Canyon Road is filled with galleries and exhibitions of famous artists take place throughout the year. The Spanish influence on architectures spices things up and the Gothic cathedrals are pretty impressive. The cuisine is spicy and delicious, the people a friendly, warm crowd.

Of course, whitewomen looking for black men are all different from each other. This means different tastes. Ask your girl is she prefers a quiet holiday or is more into bungee jumping, hiking, diving kind of adventure. Ask her is she loves luxury resorts or quiet beaches with just a hammock. Ask her if she prefers nightlife or early morning hikes. All these are quite strong clues that will help you to choose the best destination for the two of you. If you are filling insecure about your choice, you can always ask her. This way you also avoid taking her to a holiday that she has already enjoyed with her ex. It won't be a surprise any more, but you will enjoy your trip anyway! 

White women dating: The Importance Of Honesty

white girls looking for black men

If you have just entered the online dating scene and want to date black men, you are probably full of enthusiasm and curiosity. All the prospects of getting to know new cultures and traditions, when dating someone from another race, can definitely be very exciting. There is a danger hidden into this excitement though: forgetting what you want from dating. Both women and men make this mistake quite often. When we fall in love with someone we will do whatever it takes, in order to be with them. Sometimes we even tend to lose ourselves and mirror the person we have a crush on. Have you ever ended up at a football match, having no clue how you got there? Matching denim jackets anyone? That's what we are talking about! Finding love is great, but being honest is sometimes more important.

white girls looking for black men

Be honest to yourself

What is it that you are looking for right now? Do you want a boyfriend? A potential fiance? Do you just want a casual date and some fun? No matter what it is that you are looking for, keep that always in mind. If you meet someone who is interested in a casual, “friends with benefits” style of relationship and you want to get married, keep looking. Unfortunately, we sometimes believe that if we love the other person hard enough, they will eventually be on the same page with us, when it comes to dating. This is seldom the case though. White women looking for black men look for different things and that's OK. But what is it that YOU are looking for? If you do not have a definite answer and you are more flexible or choose to go with the flow, that's alright too. Still it is good to define some boundaries that you wouldn't like to cross. This will help you avoid being taken advantage of.

  Be honest with your date

white girls looking for black men

A relationship takes two to happen. This means that you need to be honest not only with your self, but with your date as well. You might find someone very attractive but not be able to give them what they are looking for. If you like them just because they have a gorgeous body but they are looking for romance, do not trick them into believing that this is what you are looking for as well. It can be tempting some times, but people will end up being really hurt and you will feel guilty about it.

Not speaking up is also lying

Yes, that's true. Lying is not just about giving false information about someone. It is also about letting people make the wrong assumptions and letting people believe that you go along with their choices. Again, you need to remind yourself that you cannot change others, unless they want to change. If your date does not want a committed relationship and you do, but say nothing about it, he is going to assume that you are fine with an open relationship as well. You might be afraid that you will come across as pushy, if you let him know what you want, but this is not the case. Yes, he might choose to stop seeing you, since you do not want the same things. But that is the right thing to do. Otherwise you would both waste your time.

Being honest about your life

Apart from what you want in a relationship, it goes without saying that you need to be honest about your life in general. Never give false information about your marital status, job, income, mental state. People who are interested enough to date you deserve to know who you really are, in order to decide if they want to spend more time with you. You deserve the same, of course!

White women black men dating: Become A Good Listener

Sometimes white women looking for black men are so caught up with their excitement about interracial dating, that they forget basic dating rules. The same goes the other way around of course. Their first time on an interracial date people tend to be either too shy or way to talkative, trying to tell the other person all about their cultural background and exotic genes. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is true that being exotic might have something to do with your charm, but do not self-indulge too much! Being a good listener is much more important on a first date.

white women black men dating

Allow enough time

Some people can start a discussion in seconds. Others need more time and they might need more time to reflect on their answers as well. If you date black men and they are quiet, it might be the easy thing to do to just take over the discussion. Soon enough, it will be only you talking and the date will turn into a monologue. Especially if your date is naturally shy, they will quickly get comfortable in a situation like that. But how are you going to get to know them, then?

Ask meaningful questions

If you met your date online, you probably already know the basics about their life, like their family status, profession and where they come from. On your first date try and ask meaningful questions that show you are really interested in the person sitting next to you. You can ask about their ambitions, childhood memories, their favorite way to spend their free time, what they love and hate about their job, what is their favorite holiday destination and why. Do not just settle for a one-word response, but ask them to elaborate. And listen carefully, of course!

Concentrate

The difference between hearing and listening is that when you listen to someone, you can recall what they told you. How many times have you been on a date and because you were bored or too excited, you were not really focused on what your date said? Really focusing on the answers of your date will help you a lot in the following dates. Think of how disappointed you would be if you mentioned your mother's or brother's name to someone and they kept asking “Who is that?”. If you really see a potential in this first date, then you need to put the effort to really get to know them through the little things.

Do not interrupt

This is basic good manners, but we fill the need to stress its importance even more, when it comes to dating. Interrupting will discourage any shy person from talking to you and it can irritate everyone else. No matter how bored you are, keep it to yourself. Maybe if you leave the person talking a bit more time, the story will become more exciting. Or not. But you will never know if you interrupt them!

Don't be all “I know what you mean. I have been there!”

Keep in mind that everyone experiences life through their own perspective. If your date has been robed and you have been robed too, it was probably a very different experience. And if someone decides to share something personal with you, you need to listen to them and, if you feel like it, support them. Making it about you only shows that you are selfish. This is a very common misunderstanding, as many people feel that the “I know what you mean” line brings people closer. Maybe, but only after your date has finished their story and their feelings about it.

Becoming a good listener takes some practice, but it is very rewarding, not only when it comes to dating, but also in a work and familycontext. Good luck!

Interracial Dating: follow your heart, not social expectations

Interracial dating has many positive aspects. You get to know people from another race and possibly culture and they can introduce you to a whole new universe of ideas, beliefs, traditions, smells, tastes, places... The list is endless really. White women dating black men for the first time often find themselves being surprised by all the extra bonuses of getting out of their comfort zone and dating outside their race. The same happens the other way around as well. And this is why more and more people stop hesitating and try out interracial dating.

If you want to date black men or white women though, you need to be prepared about the reactions of your social environment. People some times find it hard to accept that you prefer someone from another race to be your partner. This can be due to racism, due to fear of the unknown or due to the simple fact that they wish you would pick them. The social pressure can be huge for some people, which leads them to abandon their dreams of interracial dating before they even start. Following we will see some ways to help you follow your heart instead of succumbing to the social pressure.

Listen

The first step to any good and fruitful discussion is to listen to one another. It is possible that the person you are talking with won't do much listening. So it is your task to listen to them and find out why they are so upset about your decision to date outside your race. If you try to reply to every little sentence or insult they throw on the table, it will end up being a fight, not a discussion.

Think

Think before you talk. If you have just announced to your parents that you want to date white women and they are freaking out about it, listen what they have to say and do not reply immediately. Think about their worries and concerns first. Do they really complain just about their skin color or do they see other qualities in her personality that bother them? When people make comments that make no sense mixed with valid comments, often the last ones lose their value. It takes practice to be able to evaluate your family's comments before disregarding all of them as racist. Here is a small example “She is white, you don't match!” is not a valid, useful comment. But “I don't like that she is drinking so much” or “I did not like the way she talked to us” might be valid comments that you should think about. So ask people to give you some time to reflect on what they said and promise to come back to them. This shows that you value their opinion and also allows you to consider their observations, whether you like them or not.

Talk

If you have done the listening and thinking and you are sure that you want to date outside your race, it is time to make that clear to your friends and family. Start out by mentioning any of their comments that you found useful. You can, for example say that “Mom, I think you are right that our future children might be bullied at school BUT this is why we all need to fight racism together”. This way you show your family that you really listened to what they said and have thought of solutions or ways to deal with the challenges.

Be clear

Be clear that no matter what your social environment thinks, this is your life, you only have one and you are planning to live it the way you want. Make it clear that you understand where their concerns are coming from and that you are willing to help them if they want to educate themselves. Do not however let them believe that this is some kind of phase that you will grow out of. Your family and friends need to understand that if you choose to date black men (or white women) it is is your own business, since you are not harming anyone or doing anything illegal.

Don't make it personal

No matter how disappointed you are by the criticism that you are getting, do not argue on a personal level. Yes, your aunt might have gotten a bad divorce while married with someone from her race, but using that as an argument is both mean and immature. Relationships might or might not work out, despite of race. They are hard work, no matter what place on Earth your partner comes from.

Focus on the positive side

Instead of insisting that your family and friends are wrong in wanting you to date inside your race, be positive and explain why you want to date outside of it. If there is a specific person that you are dating, explain how they make you feel, why you like them, how you think that they can make you happy. Positive words are much more powerful than negative. Replace “You are wrong, because...” with “I feel I would be happier, because...”.

Keep in mind that if it is your boss who is giving you a hard time because of your interracial relationship, you can deal with them on a legal basis. Discrimination based on sex, race and disabilities is illegal. If you live in a country where such laws do not exist, then you can keep your personal life private and keep fighting against racism after your office hours.